Friends, something good happened to me the second time I went to Melbourne. I met a guy. I've already told this to some people, and narrated the whole story of how we met and it was so beautiful.

I was on a tour that brought us to some kind of garden – it's a really pretty place with mazes and roses and lavender fields. So I was walking to the lavender field when I saw a really cute guy driving a tractor heading the same way, It was kismet, like the fate gods decided to bring us together and guided us both to the same place. So he got off at the field, and we were both walking around, sneaking glances at each other. I don't know how, but at one point we started walking towards each other when he stopped suddenly and looked at me. As I was about to walk past him, I turned to face him and he smiled, so I smiled back. HE HAS SUCH A GORGEOUS SMILE. Then, I heard a noise and realised...FUCK MY MOTHER IS BEHIND ME! So I quickly looked away and pretended to admire a twig on the ground. A twig. I'm such a coward.

So I lied about that first sentence. I did meet a guy, but I was too chicken to talk to him because my mother was there, and I didn't want her to bombard me with questions if I had talked to him. It wasn't beautiful, it was pathetic. But the guy, he's beautiful. He looks like Orlando Bloom and he's a gardener. How sexy is that? We could have planted a tree to signify our love and watched it blossom. We could have gone seed shopping together and I think I could have worked the gardener look. And I really should stop right here because I'm beginning to sound like a deluded lunatic.

WHY AM I SUCH A COWARD?!

Anyway, who else is excited about the last Harry Potter movie? I know I am! Because I'm going to watch it in England! Hurrah! I might have to watch it alone but whatever. I can handle watching a movie alone. I think. July is going to be remarkable.

PS: I put that picture of butterflies in the midst of mating because that could have been me and my Orlando Bloom lookalike gardener. Should I shut up now? Yes I should. Okay bye.